Health

Over expectations – the root of unhappiness

By caringsurgeon | Published 3 October 2022 | No Comments

When someone asks me, How are you? and I frequently reply “I am good”. I noticed most people do it in the same way. It is also good because every time you can not keep telling others about your daily problems even genuine problems. But we always want to share with one who listens to us and values it. we feel happy when an expected person does in the same way.

Level of comparison

It’s not about talk, it’s about happiness. When we hand over our happiness to a particular person, to the things, to the thought or imagination & sometimes over expectations from self. It is a human tendency to compare self to a person who looks better, lives in a better way (assumed), eats better etc. The level of comparison goes as much high now people start comparing, their kids, life partners, parents, social background, work, profession and everything which can make them psychological unstable.

Comparison is good if it’s taken positively – it helps people to grow, succeed and clear competitive targets. Comparison is good when you compare yourself to the past for growth, it’s better to keep yourself motivated to achieve targets.

Comparing non-comparable things is a psychological disaster. When a person keeps comparing God’s gifts – like Kids, wives/husbands, parents, country and family means the things which you can’t change. The people or place or things – they are not because of you but you are because of them.

Root of expectations

Almost 2-3 decades back people were not easily approachable or seen e.g. routine life of celebrities or entrepreneurs or businessmen or influencers. Now in the era of computers & the internet, things changed. Everyone can see day to day life of celebrities, politicians, professionals, administrators and businessmen/entrepreneurs. It is good for the modernisation and development of any country. But at the same time people are getting more materialistic – knowingly or unknowingly.

Having dreams to have a car, become a doctor, engineer, IAS, actor, singer, entrepreneur or advocate etc. is good. But doing something to have a high-end car or luxurious house is a materialistic mindset which further pushes you into the world of unhappiness. Of course, by doing hard work and becoming a passionate professional, one day you will have everything along with happiness and health. with previous thought, you might have cars, bungalows and every possible thing – one thing that will be missing is happiness with a bag is illnesses.

Level of expectations

Expectations are normal to continue a relationship in any sanguineous or non-sanguineous. Carrying responsibilities for a relationship are normal expectations. if a 16 yrs boy expects to cycle to go to school for 15 km from a low middle-class father is normal & expecting a car from a millionaire father is also normal. If you reverse it, it is over expectations. This was a very normal example to understand over expectations.

expecting something from some becomes over expectations in a few cases

1. If the relationship is not established.
2. Relationships going one sided
3. You don’t know each other properly
4. Comparing your relationship with others same relationship.
5. The expected person is not in the condition to fulfil financially, emotionally or psychologically.
6. Thinking out of imagination
7. Pre-occupied thought
8. New to person or relationship

over expectations either kill the relationship or the person or may leave insane.

How do overcome it?

Expecting a car from a poor father, or husband, loving others’ property or things, expecting luxury from low income, wanting fame overnight, comparing your or partner’s body with screen actors, following actor’s trends on social media & trying to compare them showing to others. Who really doesn’t care – is absolute nonsense.

I may sound harsh here, but the fact is your life, your passion, your work, your body, and your family is the best in this world for you.

if really wanna compare, compare yourself from the past, if really want to expect, expect from yourself.

Hidden Secret – ” People love those who love themselves”

1. Love whatever you have,
2. Find & follow a passion,
3. Analyse people by their actions, not by words,
4. You may find bad people – learn from them & move
5. You find good people adopt them & keep learning,
6. if A bad person is good to you – never think he/she becomes good.
7. Failure is the path to success – in reality, failure doesn’t exist – you might need to change the path but the target will never miss out.
8. over expectations kill – the power to smile, roots of happiness, open room for mistakes & provide thoughts for madness.

Latest posts