Health

Misunderstanding

By caringsurgeon | Published 6 October 2022 | 1 Comment

Misunderstanding – “A situation in which somebody/something is not understood correctly”. It is common and correctable when we discuss and put our views or thoughts. Misunderstanding is not the opposite of understanding. Now the question is if it is correctable then what is the problem?

Why people failed to reach the solution.

Misunderstanding creates a gap to talk and discuss the problem. Sometimes we think to let the person happy in their way, the same time another person is thinking in the same way. Actually, no one is happy – both are discussing the same topic with others but not each other. When your point of view reached others via the third person – it is grossly twisted and deformed. This further creates a gap, now this misunderstanding gives birth to anger or dominates a person’s self-respect.

At this point, a person can reverse back to clarify the thoughts of misunderstanding or move away to finish the relationship(any type of relationship). Never underestimate the power of misunderstanding. it is a simple spark which can burn the whole forest. Most of the time “misunderstandings” remain undiagnosed. People don’t know they dealing with misunderstandings.

How a person start behaving?

1. A person gets confused with the other person’s behaviour – they start judging and correlating their behaviour with the past and try to find every single action which confirms their misunderstandings & beliefs. These beliefs only have a place in their mind, and actually don’t exist. Always remember people are different that’s why the world is formed, everyone has different upbringings, childhood, their parents’ behaviour, society and surroundings. A person who took birth to the same family has a different mindset. How someone can have the same thinking or perceptions? Humans evolved to enjoy differences while keeping similarities.
2. A person keeps putting high heightened self-respect and ego in a relationship which was never existed. Due to lack of communication, misunderstandings dominate the mind, and everything; even minor actions justify your thoughts. Sometimes a person develops hallucinations – the hallucinations of hearing or reading, perceiving things and fear of surroundings. They understand or hear or even see what they want to see. They understand things in their own way. At this point, a person needs a counsellor to put views together and justify each view. 99% of people believe they are right & other is wrong they don’t consider counselling, especially in friendships or any non-legal relationships & even in legal relations like marriages if both are rigid to their decisions. Relationships lost their value because of misunderstandings.
3. Self-created world of thoughts, where the person starts living. Now they don’t bother anymore even if they die.

Six or nine?

Everyone knows, six looks like nine or nine looks like six. But six is six and nine is nine – it’s a matter of position you are looking at. So what? meaning is simple – if you are right that does not mean that the other is wrong & if the other is right does not mean that you are wrong. Opinions are like six or nine – where both are correct & both are wrong for each other. What matters – the understanding, patience, kindness and respect. These are reciprocal things – both ends should make efforts to reach a solution otherwise one end may break out of the stretch. This further creates a segmental loss which can’t be filled or joined. A person may be wrong or did a mistake which is can be forgotten. Remember repeated wrong actions are not mistakes.

Origin of misunderstandings

Few misunderstandings are created (intentional) and few are spontaneous due to differences. Due to differences, in habits, emotions and behaviours. A person misses out on others’ emotions or expectations. If these differences are not cleared or justified in any relationship – which keep accumulating. Because of uncleared differences – we start judging each other, start hiding things, avoiding telling the truth, and start lying to a person. that’s a sign of the definite end of a relationship.

Here, the person starts creating misunderstandings to confuse the person. actually, no matter discussing these misunderstandings. A sound person can easily identify the truth, one person is creating and the other trying to solve out.

Spontaneous misunderstandings are just created due failed to understand, listen properly, respond or time, based on assumptions or already presumed but not happed, failure to communicate, or something taken for granted but not acceptable – everything I mentioned here has only one solution called communication.

Problem & Solution are like twins – born at the same time

Actually, problems have many arms and solution have only one arm. Problems have many stages and phases but solution only one. The problem appears sudden but solution come slowly. Even the problem & solution twins have differences. So love differences and celebrates similarities.

How to avoid misunderstanding?

1. Avoid confusion – just confess.
2. Never assume or presume things – clarify & clear.
3. Don’t listen to the third person’s opinion of your own relationships.
4. Learn to forget & forgive .
5. Stay respectful.
6. Love differences and celebrates similarities.
7. Never sleep without clearing misunderstandings.
8. Forget mistakes, like never happens
9. Perfection is not needed to live a life.
10. Never compare the weightage of respect & love.
11. Purpose of life is happiness.

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